For the Best Job in the World@Royal Malaysian Customs

October 23, 2012

For the Best Job in the World@Royal Malaysian Customs

Posted on 21 October 2012 – 09:01pm

by R. Nadeswaran@

The Director General
Royal Customs and Excise Department


I wish to apply for the best job in the world which incidentally is in your department. Judging from what has been reported, you can do anything you like, spend government money as much as you want and not be answerable to anyone.

For more than 20 years, I have had the honour of “processing” news stories from the voluminous reports by the Auditor-General. Year after year, I would read the report and then write about the non-adherence to established accounting principles and the misuse of power and taxpayers’ money. As usual, the perpetrators of such activities are never pulled up or penalised and in some cases, elevated to higher positions.

This year is an exception. After so many years of reporting and commenting, I decided not to touch the report but could not avoid being informed on this issue because it would mean not reading the newspapers or watching the news on television, which, of course, is required of me in my present position.

I was particularly interested in what happened in your esteemed department which prides itself as the largest source of tax collection for the nation. The brief facts that I have gathered are:

  • A customs officer went on a shopping spree and chalked up a bill of RM1.82 million on equipment his department did not need in 2007.
  • The officer had placed a verbal order on six types of gadgets and equipment, some of which exceeded the quantity needed, without following government procurement procedures.
  • He quit giving 24 hours notice on February 26, 2008.
  • No action was taken against him.
  • A report to the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission was only done last week AFTER the A-G’s report was tabled in Parliament.

Since he quit, I believe that vacant slot has not been filled and I verily believe I have the qualifications, experience and knowledge to take his place. I also want to raise plenty of money for charitable causes because your department’s procedures will allow me to do it.

What I want to do is to order 500 units of GPS Navman navigation system at a cost of RM6,174 each. I also want to order 100 siren bars, at the cost of RM11,819 each as well as an additional 1,000 Hella search lights at RM1,292 each. On top of that, I will buy 1,000 beacon lights at RM1,311 each, 2,500 rechargeable torchlights at RM1,217 each and 1,000 Garmin walkie-talkies at RM5,259 each.

That’s not very much compared to the billions that the department collects. It just amounts to less than RM15 million – RM14,942,000 to be exact. I will place the order with my own selected suppliers. I would negotiate a deal with them. They would hike up the price by 100% and no one will know because there are no proper checks and balances in the system.

So, I will ask the sum of RM14.9 million be made out in 14 cheques – RM1 million each payable in the name of orphanages, hospices, homes for the aged and other charitable organisations. The balance of RM900,000 be spent on buying sports equipment for rural schools. I won’t wait for a year to quit in a huff. I would tender my resignation in accordance with the Government Orders and leave after a month.

After this, I would demand that the goods be sent to the Customs Department and that the invoice be submitted to the Finance Department, which would duly pay the bill.

Why am I that confident that the monies will be paid? The department is obliged because I used the Local Order. You may claim that it was an “unauthorised purchase” which is true, but because you have set a precedent by paying for goods ordered by my predecessor, you can also settle this bill.

Going by past practices, I am confident that you will cover for me and protect me from any departmental or external inquiries. (You did so for my predecessor for five long years.)

You should also persuade the Treasury to pay the RM29 million bill and pray and hope that the payment is not detected when the officers from the auditor general drop by. (If not for these officers, no one would have known about the rogue officer’s order in 2007 and the matter would have been hushed up.)

And if the A-G does highlight it in his report, you’ll just have to make a formal complaint to the MACC to put on record that you did take some action. That would be five years later, perhaps in 2017 by which time, I would have disappeared.

But even if I am traced and prosecuted, I can expect justice to be tempered with mercy (as in the case of the national bowler who was convicted of statutory rape) because I have done service to the nation. Besides, I would not have financially benefited as all money went to charity.

In the eyes of the public, I will not be put in the same position as my predecessor. I would be looked at like Robin Hood, taking from the rich and giving it to the needy.

I hope my application will be given due consideration.

Saya yang (akan) menurut perintah
R. Nadeswaran

14 thoughts on “For the Best Job in the World@Royal Malaysian Customs

  1. I would like to suggest that the writer instead of the lowly post of that very ” lucky ” custom officer ” ,the post of Auditor General is much more in line with what the writer currently does,that is reporting/revealing but without the Authority to prosecute,hence it’s like a duck to water,the writer must forgive the ignorance of 90% of BN parliamentarian, coz Maths isn’t needed to qualify for the post of BN’s YB’s ( Yang Bodoh )they would fail even Std 1 Maths,forget about Add Math ,Oouch!!
    Lok1,you seem to be in the Oouch mode.–Din Merican

  2. I take this opportunity to voice my displeasure about the Royal Malaysia Customs Department (RMCD) in general.

    I understand that the RMCD is in charge of or taking enforcement actions of smuggling goods into and out of our country. BUT we read in the local newspapers that there are cases of smuggling of cars in containers out of the country and this have been going on for several years. What are the Customs at the seaports and airports doing, close one eye or both eyes?

    Every year Malaysians celebrate the Christmas, the New Year, the Chinese New Year, Hari Raya, Deepavali etc and every time we celebrate those events fire-crackers are being smuggled in in small and big amounts through all means. What are the RMCD doing, close one eye or both eyes?

    How good and successful is the RMCD in their efforts in enforcing the Dangerous Drugs Act?

    The RMCD should perform better, should collect more revenues from all those who are supposed to pay tax, from professionals, corporate and business sectors because we as the citizens and their customers are being tax (service and government tax) every time we deal with them, in hotels, restaurants and even in Kopitiam businesses and mamak makan shops.

  3. First I would like to thank for all the comment on RMC. This is my personal views on what has been commented ealier. Whats been reported is undeniable but I think public would also appreciate if the writer includes the good side of customs department in AG’s report. Of course there will be one or two black sheep in a big organisation like RMC. A lot of steps and measures has been put in force to ensure that the wrong doing will not be given an easy way in RMC, and nobody is really perfect.

    I would also like to comment on Mr Adam’s statement above. Not many really knows how officers in RMC perform their works. Not many really knows how difficult to balance between the need to facilitate to enhance economic growth of our nation and security. It is a very thin line between them. With modern technologies we try to curb smuggling, but on top of that we also need to ensure that goods are delivered on time for industries and business can smoothly flow and grow.

    Can customs department examine every box that laden with imported cargo?. Can RMC afford to scan every box that passed our borders?. The rapid trade movement is a great challenge for RMC leaders. Cooperation between enforcement agencies is the key factor in ensuring our international gateway is safely guarded. We have been reading the success of RMC on curbing drug trafficking especially at KLIA and other international airport in Malaysia.

    Not many really knows that RMC enforce more that 6 acts, but how many really cares whether they have enough resources or not. How about their staffing, their facilities. Not many really knows how many RMC officers has died in line of duty.

    I really salute RMC officers for their dedication to strive for the best revenue collection for the nation without leaving their front line duty in save guarding our nation.

    Most RMC officers want to have bionic eyes so they can scan every container box that pass them,

  4. The world’s busiest port is contested by several ports around the world, as there is as yet no standardised means of evaluating port performance and traffic. For the past decade, the distinction has been claimed by both the Port of Rotterdam and the Port of Singapore.

    The former based its measurement on cargo tonnage handled (total weight of goods loaded and discharged), while the latter ranked in terms of shipping tonnage handled (total volume of ships handled). Since 2005, the Port of Shanghai has exceeded both ports to take the title in terms of total cargo tonnage.

    Yes, Adam just look at Singapore which is one of the busiest a the major transit point in the Asian Region for liquid, dry or bulk cargoes, with hundreds of vessels passing the Singapore Strait every day.

    The country offers safe, efficient and fast port handling facilities, liberal customs regulations and is an important refining and transit point for oil products. It is also a major financial and industrial centre with excellent banking, telecommunication, hotel, medical and recreation facilities, as well as frequent airline connections world-wide.

    Why are you still at the phase of questioning if the customs department could examine every box that laden with imported cargo? Can RMC afford to scan every box that passed our borders?

    So, is it difficult to learn from other ports especially from Singapore than giving lame excuses. Lame excuses in truth the existing system benefit RMC and stevedoring companies.

  5. Karim, excuses, excuses! Go ahead, whine and wallow in self pity. In the meantime, continue to harbour slackers. As for the rakyat of whom you’re accountable to, just ignore us, we don’t matter, we’ve no right to demand exemplary services and total honesty and dedication from any of you guys. Do what you please! So what if we think very lowly of you because of a few bad hats.! Who cares…

  6. Dear Dato, the Oouch mode is so that I still remember not to Kurang Ajar to people as my late Father ( Al Fatihah ) always reminded me coz most of those people we commented upon ( especially BN ). I know them personally ( but can’t stomach them ),I’ve got so many stories to tell my grandchildren ( when I’ve got them ).Just like this song lyric (can’t remember the title,if Dato can help )” I’ve been to Paradise,but I’ve never been to me” ( a 70’s female singer).
    Lok1, I hope this is the song you are talking about:

    A beautiful song.. that is true that is life…–Din Merican

  7. To Hussin, Oouch my dear ” supposedly well read fellow ” is not Melatah,there’s no medical term ( as far as I know ) for Melatah, for me, my Oouch!! with it’s exclamation mark is ‘ I’ve accidentally pricked your conscience ” ( especially to those I’ve commented ) if they have any?? What to you Hussin,would be Bahasa Pasar’s “Perli “. Sorry if I’ve offended you.Oouch!!

  8. Thanks a million Dato,I hope that you,your beautiful wife and fellow commentators alike enjoyed Charlene’s rendition of that little saga’s of hers,some parts are like what I’ve gone through,(pisst..not that part about sleeping with the preacher or the Kings,,an x-Queen…aah.???) and thanks to C.L for the enlightenment of “Melatah”

    Man.. I listen to it 3 times in a row,( had too,with all the Political Mumbo Jumbo going on,needed a break ) thanks again Dato, owe you want.(No Oouch!! this time)

  9. Hey Cik Yong, I just can’t fathom your comment,I care,for your info, and from what I gather En Abdul Karim Md Salleh isn’t the DG of RMC. Cik Yong please come out of your Tempurung,what En Abd Karim says is true,not all customs officers are corrupted,I myself had on various occasions encountered dedicated officers who truly are disgusted with their superiors, colleagues behaviour.We,the commentators should encourage dedicated,honest,brave Malaysians Civil Servants to come out n vent their angers in this here blog.You mean Cik Yong,you want us to sack all of them,what perhaps in your tiny mind,sack 3/4 of our civil servants and then you wanna run the country yourself,please engage brain b4 frothing out your comments.Now there’s Oouch!!!

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